Proud to be a tree hugger.

School is almost done! Can't fucking wait, I am so sick of this shithole. I just want to wake up to my cats everyday, that's all.

I'm not even going to talk about the ex. I just don't want to get into it.

In Geo lab, we had a quiz, got back our papers (which, btw, I got a 27/30 on!), and watched a movie on glaciers and how they are receding. Jesus fucking christ, I hate watching shit like that. It gets me so anxious and depressed and hopeless. I am seriously losing hope for this planet and that scares me. I never thought I would lose hope or passion for this earth. I love this earth so fucking much, that it just hurts to see the inhabitants knowingly hurt it as it provides life for them. It's absolutely awful. Now, I'm not saying go completely radical and don't use any energy at all, because that isn't feasible. Turn off the lights, car pool, get off your fat ass and walk, bike, buy local, turn off the faucet when brushing your teeth and rarely use airconditioning or the thermostat. I feel so, so, so bad that we are hurting this place and it really makes me want to cry. Am I being too emotional or crazy? Maybe I'm the only one that thinks/feels this and I would start a 2nd revolution. Fuck, I just don't know. After watching the movie I seriously, not going to lie, had thoughts of just dying. What's the fucking point of living if it's happening at such an alarming rate, species are becoming extinct faster than the back rate, people are greedy and have little self control. I mean, it's a really cheap way out, yeah, but this monstrosity of an issue just overwhelms me and makes me panic that I'm going to die via the world ending, while I'm alive. That right there is my fucking biggest fear! If the world is going to end, yeah, I can't stop it, but the rate at which it is going to happen, seems to be while I'm alive and I just have to take it up the ass and watch it happen before my eyes.
Yeah, one person can change the world, and I wanna be that one person. I don't know how to go about it, but I have a belief that it'll come in good time.Perhaps I'm just in a delusion of irrational thinking because this is what happens in movies. I just want to help the earth. And honestly, like George Carlin said, the world is going to fix itself no matter what. This is somewhat hopeful. The world isn't going to cease to exist (until it burns up from the fucking sun); it may cease to have life on it. But then evolution and millions of years take place and soon enough a new life has begun. Nature has a way of fixing things in her own way, it just takes a long, long time (she is old, afterall). I must say, all these natural disasters are a delight, people dying and suffering, as if she is scolding humanity for destroying her. It's like a nice spanking or a warning not to fuck with her. Maybe, earth knows just who really cares for her and who doesn't, she will take out all the people that have truly wronged her (oil companies, construction workers, loggers, greedy motherfuckers). She should clean her slate.
I don't want this to sound diabolical, it's just that I really fucking hate humanity. I'm not going to go do some genocide (is that the right verb???), or hurt humans, I just want mother nature to =). There are only a handful of people that I can truly tolerate and those are the people that can understand me and my demented thinking. Humans take, take, take, and we give awful things back. I am almost ashamed to be a human in this era. I just want to lie on the ground and hug the earth and say, "I am soooo sorry".

This whole rant seems really fucked up, and well, maybe it is. It's how I think and it's a radical thought. I want nature to stop being hurt, I want people to tread lightly, I want a big wake up call for mankind, I want people to be as educated on the subject as I am, I want passion and desire to help the earth from other people.

Anyway, I was searching for sea glass with Meghan and we have been finding fossils. It's a beautiful thing, really. To hold something and REALLY know that it's millions of years old, is an incredible feeling. Granted, the earth beneath us is old, but we don't truly grasp it until we dig deep and find evidence, per se. Over the week, there was Mifflin and these two drunk fucks holding beer cans stumbled onto the beach where we were searching for glass/fossils and one of the idiots threw his FUCKING BEER CAN INTO THE LAKE! WHATTHEFUCK!?!?! SERIOUSLY!?!?!? The other assfuck followed his lead and also threw his into the lake. Feeling the wrath of nature I spoke up and said, "DON'T FUCKING LITTER!!!". One of the guys said, "I'm just returning it to nature!" I said, "NO YOU FUCKING AREN'T!". He proceeded to throw a rock at me through the trees and obviously didn't hit us. Are we really this far behind in times that we THROW BEER CANS INTO THE LAKE AND THINK IT'S GOING BACK TO NATURE?!??!?! I wanted to rant to him how aluminum isn't found in nature as a beer can and that he was a worthless piece of shit that deserves to be beheaded. Drunk or not, that is fucking unacceptable. I would've swam and got them, but the water was at least 35 deg F. Annnd they were floating away pretty quickly. I'm sorry mother nature, I tried =( If I saw him drowning in the lake, I wouldn't give him my eyes. I would keep walking and be happy that he got what he deserved. Kinda mean, butttttt what he did was what a 3 year old would do and the parents would scold it.

Sorry mom,

Beth.

Altering

So, I can't sleep. Mind is thinking too much of stupid shit that won't matter if i think about it or not. I'm watching sappy romance movies and just reminiscing of good times. For some reason, I was looking at msn.com, and I was lead to this page of "10 reasons guy's aren't approaching you".

=|


Really? ok. Here are the reasons:

1. You're Surrounded by Lots (I mean LOTS) of Friends

When girls are in a group, I know that I'm going to be evaluated as soon as I walk away. It's tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group.

2. You're Too Hot

If she's super hot, sometimes I assume I have no chance or I'm just plain intimidated. Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating."

3. Getting Too Tipsy

One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. It's tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.

4. Looking Sloppy

I don't usually approach girls who don't look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the celeb in public homeless look might be a good strategy.

5. Downer Demeanor

Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like you're too good for everyone drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach.

6. You're With Another Guy In Any Capacity

You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while you're out. Guys have no way of knowing if you're with a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available.

7. You have a Ring

Now I'll admit that I'm clueless, even for a guy. I'm not sure about the wedding ring/engagement rules: which hand/finger gets the ring? I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring. But unmarried women wear all sorts of rings. Your ring that looks like a wedding ring might be keeping guys away (or maybe stupid guys like me, which is probably a good thing).

8. You seem Busy

It's easier to approach a girl who looks bored, like she wants someone to talk to. In a caf , if she's reading a book, or has her face in her laptop, I assume she's busy and doesn't want to deal with my stupid pick up attempt. In a bar, if she seems content doing whatever she's doing, I won't want to interrupt.

9. You're Literally Tough To Catch

I've devised strategic plans to make a move, waiting for a girl to go to the bar, or bathroom. But when she finally gets up she walks too fast, or takes bodyguards (tons of friends) with her. Bottom line, some women just don't give that opening physically for the approach. Remember, your migratory patterns might be exactly what that guy is waiting for, so be on the lookout when you're on the move.

10. You're a Wall Flower

If you're in the corner all night, or buried behind chairs and tables, you not only cut yourself off from the rest of the world, but some guys don't want to slalom obstacles to get to you. If you want guys to approach you, you might want to move or try out some other spots.

I was reading the comment and was particularly struck by this one:

"So, basically, we can't be around friends (male or female)-or on the contrary-by ourselves in a more obscure part of the bar/club/library/coffee shop, nor can we look too good or too sloppy. We must smile incessantly, never look serious (because heaven forbid they don't think we are happy idiots all of the time). We can't ever be pre-occupied with something else in public and no hand jewelry at all! Hmmm, okay, I have a better solution; Why don't these wimps just man up and approach the one they want no matter the circumstances? If she's taken, she'll tell you (better yet, why don't you just learn which hand the wedding/engagement ring goes on. We learned, perhaps it's time you do as well. You'll need to know sooner or later...). So what I am with a couple of friends? I know it's intimidating, but you are being judged as you walk away whether we're with friends or not. If you are a gentleman in your approach you probably won't get rejected anyway. If you do, there would be nothing for us to turn to our friends and snicker about. We'll say "no thank you" and get back to our girl talk. Who DOESN'T have a book in their hand or a laptop in front of them when they are alone in a cafe? What are we supposed to do? Sit there staring at other people? If she doesn't want to talk to you, she'll tell you and you can walk out and she can get back to what she's doing. Seriously, I am so tired of all of this crap about ways we have to alter ourselves to get guys to grow half a ball and do anything. We have to alter ourselves to have them approach us. We have to alter ourselves to have them remain faithful to us. We have to alter ourselves to ask them to marry us. What do guys have to do? Nothing. This whole cat and mouse game is getting on my last nerve!"

Bingo!

I feel like I'm too much of a "woman empowerer" or something. I guess maybe because I hate the system we live in, so much.

I guess that's all I've wanted to say for now. I'm going to try to get some sleep... I wish it would get out of my head.

B