Proud to be a tree hugger.

School is almost done! Can't fucking wait, I am so sick of this shithole. I just want to wake up to my cats everyday, that's all.

I'm not even going to talk about the ex. I just don't want to get into it.

In Geo lab, we had a quiz, got back our papers (which, btw, I got a 27/30 on!), and watched a movie on glaciers and how they are receding. Jesus fucking christ, I hate watching shit like that. It gets me so anxious and depressed and hopeless. I am seriously losing hope for this planet and that scares me. I never thought I would lose hope or passion for this earth. I love this earth so fucking much, that it just hurts to see the inhabitants knowingly hurt it as it provides life for them. It's absolutely awful. Now, I'm not saying go completely radical and don't use any energy at all, because that isn't feasible. Turn off the lights, car pool, get off your fat ass and walk, bike, buy local, turn off the faucet when brushing your teeth and rarely use airconditioning or the thermostat. I feel so, so, so bad that we are hurting this place and it really makes me want to cry. Am I being too emotional or crazy? Maybe I'm the only one that thinks/feels this and I would start a 2nd revolution. Fuck, I just don't know. After watching the movie I seriously, not going to lie, had thoughts of just dying. What's the fucking point of living if it's happening at such an alarming rate, species are becoming extinct faster than the back rate, people are greedy and have little self control. I mean, it's a really cheap way out, yeah, but this monstrosity of an issue just overwhelms me and makes me panic that I'm going to die via the world ending, while I'm alive. That right there is my fucking biggest fear! If the world is going to end, yeah, I can't stop it, but the rate at which it is going to happen, seems to be while I'm alive and I just have to take it up the ass and watch it happen before my eyes.
Yeah, one person can change the world, and I wanna be that one person. I don't know how to go about it, but I have a belief that it'll come in good time.Perhaps I'm just in a delusion of irrational thinking because this is what happens in movies. I just want to help the earth. And honestly, like George Carlin said, the world is going to fix itself no matter what. This is somewhat hopeful. The world isn't going to cease to exist (until it burns up from the fucking sun); it may cease to have life on it. But then evolution and millions of years take place and soon enough a new life has begun. Nature has a way of fixing things in her own way, it just takes a long, long time (she is old, afterall). I must say, all these natural disasters are a delight, people dying and suffering, as if she is scolding humanity for destroying her. It's like a nice spanking or a warning not to fuck with her. Maybe, earth knows just who really cares for her and who doesn't, she will take out all the people that have truly wronged her (oil companies, construction workers, loggers, greedy motherfuckers). She should clean her slate.
I don't want this to sound diabolical, it's just that I really fucking hate humanity. I'm not going to go do some genocide (is that the right verb???), or hurt humans, I just want mother nature to =). There are only a handful of people that I can truly tolerate and those are the people that can understand me and my demented thinking. Humans take, take, take, and we give awful things back. I am almost ashamed to be a human in this era. I just want to lie on the ground and hug the earth and say, "I am soooo sorry".

This whole rant seems really fucked up, and well, maybe it is. It's how I think and it's a radical thought. I want nature to stop being hurt, I want people to tread lightly, I want a big wake up call for mankind, I want people to be as educated on the subject as I am, I want passion and desire to help the earth from other people.

Anyway, I was searching for sea glass with Meghan and we have been finding fossils. It's a beautiful thing, really. To hold something and REALLY know that it's millions of years old, is an incredible feeling. Granted, the earth beneath us is old, but we don't truly grasp it until we dig deep and find evidence, per se. Over the week, there was Mifflin and these two drunk fucks holding beer cans stumbled onto the beach where we were searching for glass/fossils and one of the idiots threw his FUCKING BEER CAN INTO THE LAKE! WHATTHEFUCK!?!?! SERIOUSLY!?!?!? The other assfuck followed his lead and also threw his into the lake. Feeling the wrath of nature I spoke up and said, "DON'T FUCKING LITTER!!!". One of the guys said, "I'm just returning it to nature!" I said, "NO YOU FUCKING AREN'T!". He proceeded to throw a rock at me through the trees and obviously didn't hit us. Are we really this far behind in times that we THROW BEER CANS INTO THE LAKE AND THINK IT'S GOING BACK TO NATURE?!??!?! I wanted to rant to him how aluminum isn't found in nature as a beer can and that he was a worthless piece of shit that deserves to be beheaded. Drunk or not, that is fucking unacceptable. I would've swam and got them, but the water was at least 35 deg F. Annnd they were floating away pretty quickly. I'm sorry mother nature, I tried =( If I saw him drowning in the lake, I wouldn't give him my eyes. I would keep walking and be happy that he got what he deserved. Kinda mean, butttttt what he did was what a 3 year old would do and the parents would scold it.

Sorry mom,

Beth.