Altering

So, I can't sleep. Mind is thinking too much of stupid shit that won't matter if i think about it or not. I'm watching sappy romance movies and just reminiscing of good times. For some reason, I was looking at msn.com, and I was lead to this page of "10 reasons guy's aren't approaching you".

=|


Really? ok. Here are the reasons:

1. You're Surrounded by Lots (I mean LOTS) of Friends

When girls are in a group, I know that I'm going to be evaluated as soon as I walk away. It's tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group.

2. You're Too Hot

If she's super hot, sometimes I assume I have no chance or I'm just plain intimidated. Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating."

3. Getting Too Tipsy

One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. It's tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.

4. Looking Sloppy

I don't usually approach girls who don't look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the celeb in public homeless look might be a good strategy.

5. Downer Demeanor

Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like you're too good for everyone drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach.

6. You're With Another Guy In Any Capacity

You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while you're out. Guys have no way of knowing if you're with a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available.

7. You have a Ring

Now I'll admit that I'm clueless, even for a guy. I'm not sure about the wedding ring/engagement rules: which hand/finger gets the ring? I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring. But unmarried women wear all sorts of rings. Your ring that looks like a wedding ring might be keeping guys away (or maybe stupid guys like me, which is probably a good thing).

8. You seem Busy

It's easier to approach a girl who looks bored, like she wants someone to talk to. In a caf , if she's reading a book, or has her face in her laptop, I assume she's busy and doesn't want to deal with my stupid pick up attempt. In a bar, if she seems content doing whatever she's doing, I won't want to interrupt.

9. You're Literally Tough To Catch

I've devised strategic plans to make a move, waiting for a girl to go to the bar, or bathroom. But when she finally gets up she walks too fast, or takes bodyguards (tons of friends) with her. Bottom line, some women just don't give that opening physically for the approach. Remember, your migratory patterns might be exactly what that guy is waiting for, so be on the lookout when you're on the move.

10. You're a Wall Flower

If you're in the corner all night, or buried behind chairs and tables, you not only cut yourself off from the rest of the world, but some guys don't want to slalom obstacles to get to you. If you want guys to approach you, you might want to move or try out some other spots.

I was reading the comment and was particularly struck by this one:

"So, basically, we can't be around friends (male or female)-or on the contrary-by ourselves in a more obscure part of the bar/club/library/coffee shop, nor can we look too good or too sloppy. We must smile incessantly, never look serious (because heaven forbid they don't think we are happy idiots all of the time). We can't ever be pre-occupied with something else in public and no hand jewelry at all! Hmmm, okay, I have a better solution; Why don't these wimps just man up and approach the one they want no matter the circumstances? If she's taken, she'll tell you (better yet, why don't you just learn which hand the wedding/engagement ring goes on. We learned, perhaps it's time you do as well. You'll need to know sooner or later...). So what I am with a couple of friends? I know it's intimidating, but you are being judged as you walk away whether we're with friends or not. If you are a gentleman in your approach you probably won't get rejected anyway. If you do, there would be nothing for us to turn to our friends and snicker about. We'll say "no thank you" and get back to our girl talk. Who DOESN'T have a book in their hand or a laptop in front of them when they are alone in a cafe? What are we supposed to do? Sit there staring at other people? If she doesn't want to talk to you, she'll tell you and you can walk out and she can get back to what she's doing. Seriously, I am so tired of all of this crap about ways we have to alter ourselves to get guys to grow half a ball and do anything. We have to alter ourselves to have them approach us. We have to alter ourselves to have them remain faithful to us. We have to alter ourselves to ask them to marry us. What do guys have to do? Nothing. This whole cat and mouse game is getting on my last nerve!"

Bingo!

I feel like I'm too much of a "woman empowerer" or something. I guess maybe because I hate the system we live in, so much.

I guess that's all I've wanted to say for now. I'm going to try to get some sleep... I wish it would get out of my head.

B